(1) of the Philippines: relating to the Philippines, its languages, peoples and cultures; (2) the official language of the Philippines; an Austronesian language based on Tagalog; (3) somebody who comes from the Philippines (also, masc. Pinoy; fem. Pinay) -- Microsoft Encarta 2008
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If you are a Filipino and a globe-trotter, there is one extremely important survival tip you need to know: Do not ever consider going to The World's Worst Place to Be a Filipino (yes, it really must be written that way, like the title of a very important fact book.)
First, let me tell you about this place...
This country is listed as one of the world's most corrupt nations. In fact, for twenty years, it was run by a dictator, who bought his American porn star mistress an island using taxpayers' money, and his narcissistic wife who owned more than 3,000 pairs of shoes and who bathed in gallons of French perfume, while the entire nation was buried neck-high in foreign debt.
This country once elected to the highest office an action star who doesn't even use his real name and who built all his mistresses a mansion. In its Senate are a game show host, a few movie actors, a former basketball player, the former dictator's son, ex-coup plotters, a fugitive and some ex-convicts. In its House of Congress are a boxer, a former President who is under investigation for large-scale corruption, former movie stars, jueteng lords and protectors, and, believe it or not, the aforementioned former First Lady who owned more than 3,000 pairs of shoes!
The citizens of this country dump their trash at the very foot of the signage that reads: "Don't dump your garbage here, for crying out loud!!!!" They also pee like stray dogs do, i.e. wherever nature calls. Some of them also consider declaring as national hero a boxer who got filthy rich from beating the hell out of other boxers. They ousted two Presidents, but elected their sons (yes, their genetic duplicates!) to the Senate!
This country added to the World's Dictionary of Illegal Activities the following words and concepts: dugo-dugo, ativan gang, kuratong-baleleng, salvage (execution by a vigilante) dagdag-bawas, flying voters, jueteng, sakla, sabong, tong-its, video karera, botcha (double-dead meat sold in markets) among others.
In this country, being rushed to a public hospital is tantamount to signing your death warrant. You may be frothing at the mouth from food poisoning, but the hospital staff will need your cash deposit before admitting you to the ER.
When you need your birth certificate authenticated, when applying for a driver's license, passport, visa, NBI clearance, SSS biometric I.D. and the like, you need to prove you are not a terrorist or an impostor. You also need to pay "extra" to get things done ASAP. Also, you can have these documents faked anytime, anywhere...anyway.
Whereas, in other countries, you only get frisked by uniformed authorities when you're being arrested for a serious crime; in this country, they frisk you each time you enter a shopping mall.
Secondly, I'll tell you the most obvious thing-- why you shouldn't be in this place.
If you are a Filipino and you find yourself in the country described above, you'd feel like a single-celled microorganism, yes? You'd start asking yourself if you could still be proud of being a Filipino. Of course, there are still so many reasons to place your right hand over your bosom during the singing of Lupang Hinirang. But, do you still sing the National Anthem with as much conviction as you had before you realized where you were born and raised?
The best place to be a Filipino is where you can STILL be proud to be one. Perhaps, this is why I'm so dying to leave this country and go to where I can honestly say to my self and to the world that I belong to the nation that gave the world Dr. Jose Rizal and the first ever bloodless revolution.
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